Gitane

When you read enough books you find that in the old West they called a mustache by its plural, mustaches. This informed Gitane's decision, after reading True Grit because he did not like to see a movie based on a book before reading the book like a philistine, to cultivate his mustaches. The internet can be consulted in matters of care for the mustaches, oraculars on trimming utensils and the finest waxes. Gitane chose a vintage construction for his handlebars, suggesting the integrity of an old hand. They were mustaches he felt could confidently mentor other mustaches on johnny come lately upper lips. But Gitane didn't feel right wearing his clothes like the bunting of modernity along with his sage and laquered whiskers. On the internet he ordered vests cut trim to his waist, heavy wool slacks that needed to be held up with suspenders, and a pair of gleaming leather shoes a thick gauge of leather abandoned to history. Gitane sometimes bragged to his friends that his mustaches had developed a natural essence of sandalwood, whose odor delighted him all day. Before long Gitane couldn't drive his car anymore, when he sat behind the wheel he was struck with a brief automotive amnesia before the muscle memory returned. His little Audi was built by the Kaiser, what would Mattie Ross say? Needless to say he felt a profound relief atop the antique bicycle he procurred for an only slightly unreasonable price on Craigslist. Gitane further chafed at his friends, and his city. The Eastern people and Eastern lands were the oldest in the country but that just meant they had the most time to change. Scouring Google Gitane found a place out west given to the old ways and filled with the old souls. He paid the penalty for breaking his lease, and the fee for cancelling his cell phone. Gitane was going to say goodbye but he could'nt find tasteful enough post cards to make a warm expression in his favorite India ink. When Gitane arrived in that place he tallied up his journey and thought "This has been some of the most expensive facial hair known to man." He understood why actors sometimes insured their mustaches for great sums of money.